sometimes He calms the storm; sometimes He calms his child

the other night as i was laying on the futon struggling with changes and feeling stressed, andrew told me he thought i should pray. it was great to hear this from him because as we were talking to the pastor, i told him i was worried i hadn't been growing in my faith recently, while andrew said he thought he had been. i was assured by the pastor that this is pretty normal, and frequently women coming into a marriage relationship, even a christian one, have more biblical knowledge than the man. i was surprised to hear this but also comforted. i've always wanted a marriage where the man was the spiritual leader of the family, but i never knew if i'd have that... this was a great, really awesome step in that direction. it made my heart smile.

this morning i was driving to work, trying to pray while driving (which is a tad difficult, since you don't want to crash), and what i was thinking is how grateful i am that though i am not always faithful, though i do not always trust, though i frequently try to take on the world all by myself, God is always faithful to me, He is always trustworthy, and He is always there to love me and take my struggles from me. and i started singing that third day song in my head "please take from me my life, when i don't have the strength, to give it away to you, Jesus."

more interesting than that is that i got into work, and pretty much did everything i have to do for who knows how long, and looked for an online devotional and found this:

September 19, 2007
The Faithfulness Of God

Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God.” —Mark 11:22

Some of Jesus’ words to His disciples about having faith in God leave me wondering if I can ever exercise that level of trust and confidence in prayer. I can’t recall telling a mountain to relocate itself into the ocean and watching it happen.

Hudson Taylor, pioneer missionary to China, said that Jesus’ words in Mark 11:22, “Have faith in God,” could be translated, “Hold on to the faithfulness of God.”

D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, former pastor of London’s Westminster Chapel, appreciated Taylor’s insight and said: “Faith is holding on to the faithfulness of God and, as long as you do that, you cannot go wrong. Faith does not look at the difficulties. . . . Faith does not look at itself or at the person who is exercising it. Faith looks at God . . . . Faith is interested in God only, and it talks about God and it praises God and it extols the virtues of God. The measure of the strength of a man’s faith, always, is ultimately the measure of his knowledge of God. . . . He knows God so well that he can rest on the knowledge. And it is the prayers of such a man that are answered.”

“Forever, O Lord, Your word is settled in heaven. Your faithfulness endures to all generations” (Ps. 119:89-90). —David C. McCasland

Trust in Him, ye saints, forever—
He is faithful, changing never;
Neither force nor guile can sever
Those He loves from Him. —Kelly

Life is not always fair, but God is always faithful.

(go here to see the actual website)

isn't it interesting how He always gives you what you need? and lots of times His message is in whispers, but i feel like this message to me was as loud and clear as it could get. i guess i have been being dense. i am extremely blessed.