i'm employing the thumper rule.

if you pray...

please pray for my former student, mike.

this is an account of what happened, written by his older sister:

Hi everyone,

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Mike’s older sister, and I just wanted to take this time to update you on how he’s doing. First of all, thank you so much for all of your posts and messages and calls; I can’t even begin to tell you how much they’ve meant to my family and me. We’ve been getting a lot of support from family and friends, and your prayers and best wishes have really made these past couple days easier on us. Please continue to pray for Mike and keep him in your thoughts!

I know there has been a lot of confusion about Mike’s condition. Some of you have gotten a chance to briefly talk to our brother, Sam, and others have heard the news through the grapevine. To begin with, he’s not on life support, and as far as I know, he’s not in a coma either; I’ve not heard the word used by any of his doctors or nurses, and although I’ve never been to med school, I think there’s a difference between “in a coma” and “unconscious.” As far as I’ve heard from his primary physicians, he’s just unconscious. He’s being heavily sedated, and to my understanding, the medicine is a big part of what is keeping him asleep. I hope that clears up some of the stories that have been floating around; here are all the other details about what happened:

The accident happened on Tuesday, at about 10 or 11 in the morning. Mike was biking way too fast down Airport Road next to the police station when his tire hit a curb and he flipped over headfirst. Most of the shock was absorbed by the part of his brain called section 8 (or something like that) which is a section deep in the middle of his brain, and the main concern right now is that the shock didn’t spread to any other parts of his brain.

There is some swelling, and the next 48-72 hours are really critical in making sure that the swelling doesn’t get any worse; if it does, Mike could stroke, and that could be fatal. So far, however, the swelling is at a great level and hasn’t changed much at all over the past couple days. The doctors have been monitoring him very closely, and they seem to be optimistic about his continued healing. He is scheduled for an MRI sometime tomorrow, and that test will tell us how extensive the damage to his brain is. We really won’t know anything until the results from that come back. The doctors haven’t been able to tell us when he’ll wake up, how long it’ll take him to recover (he’ll definitely need occupational and physical therapy), and if there will be any changes in his behavior or learning abilities afterwards. They keep telling us that there have been many cases similar and worse than Mikey’s where the patients have fully recovered and return to their old selves with zero complications; however, each person is different and there really isn’t any telling how Mike will come out of this.

When he was first admitted to the hospital, Mike’s body was seizing as a reaction to the shock of the impact. The doctors put him on anti-seizure medication, and he’s been off of it for a while now; all his brain waves and signals are normal and looking good. Mikey was also moving his left side around a lot (involuntarily, but at least he was moving), but he began to run a fever so they put cooling pads on his chest and legs. He started shivering, though, so they gave him a paralytic to keep him from moving and using all of his energy on shivering. They’re bringing up his temperature now, though, so they can get him off the paralytic and see if he’s still moving his arms and legs. They’ve also found that when the body is unstressed and at a comfortable temperature, MRI and other scan results are clearer and more accurate.

Other than his head injury, Mike also fractured his left wrist, may have torn his ACL in his left knee, and has a possible cracked sternum. He’s also pretty bruised up and his face is still a bit swollen. He’s in a bad place right now, but doing well considering. He looked a lot better than he did yesterday, and we’re hoping that things just keep getting better from here on out. As I said earlier, though, we can’t really do anything until the MRI results come back, and it could be as late as Saturday that we find out what’s going on; I have no idea how long it takes to analyze these things. Brain injuries are never good news, but all in all we're hopeful.

we were getting daily updates, which had been relatively positive, about an mri, brain swelling subsiding, breathing machine being turned off, some movement in both sides of his body. unfortunately it isn't all good news.

this is today's update:

Today was a bit of a step backwards for Mikey. The neurology team talked to my parents and told them that the MRI actually revealed some more damage in his brain; I'm not sure how the doctors missed it the first time around, but they told us that the extensive damage accounts for the minimal movement on Mikey's right side. Also, they're somewhat afraid that the fidgeting in Mike's left leg and arm aren't as purposeful as we thought. There's no good way to communicate with him because when the therapists ask him to squeeze their hands to answer their questions, it's difficult to tell if his squeezes are responses or just involuntary movements. The neuro team is supposed to run several tests on him tomorrow to figure out the best way to communicate with him and figure out what kind and how much therapy he'll need. I'm going to talk to the neuro team tomorrow morning, so once I find out all the details from them, I'll be able to tell you more about what's going on.

please pray for mike.

facebook is funny

found this "letter to prospective clients" in a group on facebook. i did not write it, and do not necessarily agree with everything therein, but it is funny:

Dear Client,

Welcome to out practice. The following are some suggestions of how to make things more pleasant for our staff.

As you have already figured out your scheduled appointment time is just a suggestion. Feel free to ignore it and do as you please.

If you are not going to show up, please do not call. We like the suspense of trying to figure out what you are going to do. Some times we run bets on it. So as you can see, calling and informing us of your intentions would just take the fun out of our day.

Verbal abuse is always appreciated. If possible, wait until the waiting room is full. Please be creative in your profanity, we all like to expand our vocabulary.

Do not put your dog on a leash or your cat in a carrier. Just let them loose as soon as you walk in. The staff enjoys a little pandemonium.

Bring as many small children as possible. Three or more is preferred. If you don’t have that many, borrow from your neighbours (look for the most poorly behaved). Make sure they all have juice and crayons because we love to clean. Also, we encourage them to jump on the furniture, displays and play rough with the hospital cat and go through the drawers.

Do not bring any prior records as we request. Calling other clinics gives us time to catch up with old friends.

We’re just kidding when we suggest that you bring a stool or urine sample. That’s gross. We’ll just get it off out waiting room floor after your dog relieves him/herself everywhere.

Please feel free to stay on your cell phone. Handless headsets are preferred because it really makes it challenging to figure out if you are talking to us or the person on the phone. Make sure to call back later and ask us questions about all the things we were trying to explain.

When giving information about your pet be as vague as possible. The doctor is psychic and can communicate with your pet so it’s really just a formality anyway.

Wait until the vet is using the stethoscope before reciting the life story of your pet. It really is just for show, the vet never has any intention of listening to the intricacies of the heart and thorax.

Be sure to insist we follow your breeder’s recommendations, especially about anaesthesia and vaccines. Our schooling and training really doesn’t teach us much, so we appreciate the guidance.


Give medications as you see fit. We just put the instruction labels on them because the label printer is cool. We understand that when the condition doesn’t resolve, it is our fault, not yours.

Don’t tell us all the other vets had to muzzle your dog until after he/she tries to bite. It keeps our reflexes sharp. Besides, it is more of a challenge to muzzle a dog once he/she is all worked up.

If your cat is hissing and upset, please put your hands and face as close to his/her mouth as possible. He/she would never bite you. If a bite did occur from your own stupidity, it is our fault anyway.

Ignore the staff only signs. Just wonder around as you please. Stick your hands in all the cages. If your child is wondering around, we prefer him/her to be barefoot.

If your pet is sick please wait a minimum of three days before having him/her seen. Also, be sure to exhaust all treatments available over the counter or at the pet shop before brining him/her into be examined. We love seeing sick animals after 4pm on a Friday afternoon, so make sure you wait until the last minute to bring your pet in.

Always complain about the bill. We know our prices are too high. In general, we tend to be greedy and don’t care about your animal.

We look forward to caring for your pet. If you have any suggestions about what we can do to make life easier for you and more difficult for us, please do not hesitate to let us know.

so, what did you spend YOUR tax return on?

i vaguely remember the days when i could go out and spend my money on whatever i wanted, and my tax return was spent on that new thing i wanted for my car or my wardrobe or horses... but now, we have money together that we use to pay our mortgage and bills, and when we have money back on our taxes, we spend it on turning the water from orange to clear and fencing in the property to keep the dogs from running away. woohoo!

though not as exciting as the new dooney i want:

this fence is pretty fancy! [pics to be posted asap]

and though it took sort of a long time, and a few cut cables/gas lines, i'm happy with the end result. especially the cool livestock gate and latch that goes across the driveway.

the water filtration system is not as exciting to look at, but it does make my sinks and toilets look better. i'm sort of bummed that all the new stuff we got when we moved in is already a somewhat stained beyond repair, but i guess you can't win 'em all.

next on the list of repairs/renovations:
1. fix lawnmower/mow lawn
2. till garden beds/plant
3. finish wainscoting
4. paint upper half of dining room walls
5. finish flooring in upstairs closet
6. paint upstairs
7. put up window treatments in master bedroom
8. CLEAN!

future thoughts (waaayyyy down the road):
redo downstairs bathrooms
increase pass-thru between dining room and kitchen
unpack random boxes and clear out junk
renovate kitchen

i am a winner

yep. i'm a winner. today, with lillie on the leash and chloe inside the house (i was taking them out to "potty" one at a time), i locked myself out of the house. see, the fence guys are here putting up the fence, and on tuesday they cut the cable line, and on wednesday they cut the gas line, so i had locked all the doors behind me since there would be unknown service men coming out to the house today... and one of our doors is a self-locking lever handle... so it self-locked me out.

i had my cell phone inside, but it was dead and the phone charger was in the car, so i thought i'd take the dogs out for a walk while i got the charger. i put the leash on lillie and walked out the door, letting it swing shut behind me, and i remembered a half-second too late that i hadn't picked up my keys before walking out the door. joy of joys, i circled the house no fewer than 4 times, trying every door, looking at every window, even pulling on every car door in the lame hope that it would be open (for what, i don't know, considering i do not keep spare house keys in my car), only to find that our little country home is fort knox. hallelujah for safety! boo for being on the outside looking in.

much more to my dismay, i had the wrong dog outside with me! lillie could hold her pee for a whole 24 hour day if she had to, whereas chloe's baby bladder has never been tested, and there she sat, inside the kitchen door, whining at me and confused as to why i was frantically motioning to her to jump on it. see, lillie is half-human, and if i told her to stand up and push on the door lever, i have no doubt that she could have opened the door for me. as it was, as i motioned to chloe, lillie kept jumping up and pawing at OUR side of the lever handle... not helpful. meanwhile chloe paced, and whined, and sat, and bowed, and did every trick she knew (short of rolling over), but alas, i have never taught my great dane how to jump up and paw at door handles... it just didn't seem like a trick this particular breed of dog should learn -- until now.

so not only am i locked out of my house, sans bra, keys, or phone, but the dog is locked in the house, and the fence guys are probably wondering why i'm circling my own house, looking to break in. finally, i figured all hope was lost and i tried to decide which glass would be least costly to repair when i broke it. i found a short gardening hoe, shaped much like a crowbar and walked to the already partially broken window at the back of the house, that leads to the dining room. this window is a good 4.5-5 feet off the ground, thanks to the slope of our land. i wedged the tip of the hoe under the window sill and used my beastly strength (plus the simple tool of leverage, thank you 4th grade "simple machines" unit) to pry the window pane up and bust the window lock off the window. then, i pushed the window up so there was about a 2-foot opening, lifted lillie through the window, and, using my mad rock climbing skills, lifted myself up and through the opening in the window.

i feel like this whole endeavor was a success for a few reasons.
1. i did not have to go talk to the fence-men with no bra on.
2. my dog did not pee in the house.
3. i did not panic.
4. i did not break the window much more than it was already broken.
5. i kind of feel like superwoman now.

moral of the story? we need a hide-a-key rock.