i am a winner

yep. i'm a winner. today, with lillie on the leash and chloe inside the house (i was taking them out to "potty" one at a time), i locked myself out of the house. see, the fence guys are here putting up the fence, and on tuesday they cut the cable line, and on wednesday they cut the gas line, so i had locked all the doors behind me since there would be unknown service men coming out to the house today... and one of our doors is a self-locking lever handle... so it self-locked me out.

i had my cell phone inside, but it was dead and the phone charger was in the car, so i thought i'd take the dogs out for a walk while i got the charger. i put the leash on lillie and walked out the door, letting it swing shut behind me, and i remembered a half-second too late that i hadn't picked up my keys before walking out the door. joy of joys, i circled the house no fewer than 4 times, trying every door, looking at every window, even pulling on every car door in the lame hope that it would be open (for what, i don't know, considering i do not keep spare house keys in my car), only to find that our little country home is fort knox. hallelujah for safety! boo for being on the outside looking in.

much more to my dismay, i had the wrong dog outside with me! lillie could hold her pee for a whole 24 hour day if she had to, whereas chloe's baby bladder has never been tested, and there she sat, inside the kitchen door, whining at me and confused as to why i was frantically motioning to her to jump on it. see, lillie is half-human, and if i told her to stand up and push on the door lever, i have no doubt that she could have opened the door for me. as it was, as i motioned to chloe, lillie kept jumping up and pawing at OUR side of the lever handle... not helpful. meanwhile chloe paced, and whined, and sat, and bowed, and did every trick she knew (short of rolling over), but alas, i have never taught my great dane how to jump up and paw at door handles... it just didn't seem like a trick this particular breed of dog should learn -- until now.

so not only am i locked out of my house, sans bra, keys, or phone, but the dog is locked in the house, and the fence guys are probably wondering why i'm circling my own house, looking to break in. finally, i figured all hope was lost and i tried to decide which glass would be least costly to repair when i broke it. i found a short gardening hoe, shaped much like a crowbar and walked to the already partially broken window at the back of the house, that leads to the dining room. this window is a good 4.5-5 feet off the ground, thanks to the slope of our land. i wedged the tip of the hoe under the window sill and used my beastly strength (plus the simple tool of leverage, thank you 4th grade "simple machines" unit) to pry the window pane up and bust the window lock off the window. then, i pushed the window up so there was about a 2-foot opening, lifted lillie through the window, and, using my mad rock climbing skills, lifted myself up and through the opening in the window.

i feel like this whole endeavor was a success for a few reasons.
1. i did not have to go talk to the fence-men with no bra on.
2. my dog did not pee in the house.
3. i did not panic.
4. i did not break the window much more than it was already broken.
5. i kind of feel like superwoman now.

moral of the story? we need a hide-a-key rock.