"love bird" chicken

yesterday on a rerun of rachel ray's 30-minute meal show i saw her make "love bird" chicken - see it's love bird because the breast is wrapped... i don't get it, and i think she's really annoying with all her "smashed potatoes" instead of mashed and how she calls pieces of chicken "him" and how she says we can cook "up" something in the pan, where "he" (the chicken) can "join all the other kids in the pool" = go into the pot with the other ingredients - holy cow, it's enough to want to stab your ears out with your yum-o lazy spoonula, BUT the recipe was intriguing and tasty looking, so i figured i'd try it. here is the recipe from rachel's site

4 pieces skinless chicken breast, boned (about 8 ounces each)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2-3 sprigs fresh finely chopped rosemary
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil (EVOO)
1 sheet puff pastry (11 by 17-inch), (recommended: Dufour)
8 slices Italian fontina cheese, slices should be 2-3-inches square and 1/4 to 1/2-inch thick, cut in 1/2
1/2 cup fig preserves
1 egg mixed with 1 tablespoon water, for egg wash
PREPARATION
Preheat oven to 400°F.

Season the chicken with salt, pepper and rosemary. Cut each piece of chicken in half across the breast giving you 8 equal portions. Heat the oil in a nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Lightly brown the chicken on both sides, 5 minutes total. Remove from heat.

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Cut pastry into 8 pieces. Place a piece of cheese on each pastry square and top with spoonfuls of fig preserves and the chicken pieces. Pinch and seal the dough up and over the meat and cheese, seal with egg wash, flip the pastry packets over and brush the tops with remaining egg wash. Bake 12-15 minutes, until golden.

For entree portions, simply leave chicken breast whole and cut the pastry into quarters. Trim off excess dough and use it to decorate the pastry with small cut outs such as heart shapes.

however, i made a few adjustments based on what i had available. my country grocery store did not have fontina cheese, so i used havarti, and we had frozen boneless skinless thighs, so i used them instead of breasts, and lastly, we had pillsbury crescent roll dough instead of puff pastry. oh and i used dried rosemary instead of fresh chopped because we had it in the spice rack. OTHER THAN THAT, i followed the recipe - hahaha! the result was quite tasty, and i am sure it is something we will repeat.

we both loved the havarti cheese, so that might stay, and i'll have to debate about the puff pastry, as the flavor of the crescent roll was nice, but the perforations made for a difficult time wrapping and lots of leakage in the baking process. we will definitely try using breasts next time because the thighs were difficult to wrap and either you'd end up with a giant bite of chicken where it'd been folded over or a bite with no chicken because the pastry, cheese, and fig had spread without it. but all in all, i'd rate it a dinner success, and it really did take me less than 30 mins to make, including baking time.

oh, and i would have put up a picture of them, cause they were pretty, but we eated dem all!

family shower!

the second of the baby shower trilogy was the family shower my mom threw for us on sunday of this past week. i was still sick, but the sunshine and sudafed helped me to feel better for the day at my parents' house. mom invited all of andrew and my families, as well as family friends from way back (and when i say way back, i mean like from when i was born!) and a few of my friends who were unable to make it the other showers.

originally, we thought that a lot of family was going to be able to make it from out of town, but they all ended up with conflicts, so the shower really was mostly composed of my cousins on my mom's side and family friends from my childhood. it was amazing, and i felt so loved to have so many people from so long so excited for us, traveling from several hours away in cases, and loading us up with supplies. they all were so loving and told us how proud they were of us. i guess what i'm learning about family and friends as this journey continues is that it's all about who makes the time to love you and who you make the time to love - those are the people you can lean on when you need it, and i appreciate ALL of them immensely.

of course, mom was the hostess with the mostess and prepared a magnificent spread as well as a few fun things like advice cards for new parents and cute gift bags for guests. we are so blessed to be so loved! for family shower pics, go to my flickr album.

34 weeks

looking sick (cause i am) but feeling loved :-)

practice run and girlie shower

i've been sick for most of the week, but last night i started feeling so bad that i got concerned for the health of baby k. andrew and i called the ob on call and described my symptoms (which the doctor didn't seem to care about), and told him i was concerned i hadn't felt her moving as much as normal. because of that, he had us drive in to rex and have the baby monitored to make sure she was ok. i had high blood pressure and a fast pulse, which they seemed to think was from taking the cold meds they told me i could take, but they weren't concerned about that. they said i did not have a fever, and the baby looked totally fine on the monitors, so about an hour later, we went home. i felt a little silly for going to the hospital because the baby was fine, but at the same time, i was right about having a high bp, and i'm frustrated that i don't feel like my obs are really doing their job or taking me seriously. but that's another topic for another day!

for today, i wanted to tell you that i had a great time at my girlie shower! we're having a few baby showers because we weren't sure how to include all of our friends and family in one location and have everyone have a good time, that and we had a few people offer to throw us showers. so we are having 3 different ones - this one was for my close girl friends and was thrown by melissa and jennifer and took place at my house. it was only girls and we played fun silly baby showery games and had cutesy decorations. the second one is tomorrow for family and family friends and will be hosted by mom at her house. i imagine there will be a lot more atmosphere of sitting around and hearing advice from all of my family members who've done it before. the last one is for all of our work friends (from my work and andrew's work) to be hosted by heather at her house, and it will be a fun co-ed party sort of atmosphere with a promise of beer (for those who can drink) and NO baby games so that the boys will feel included :-)

this shower was wonderful, and in addition to my sincerest gratitude to jennifer and melissa for all of their hard work in putting this thing together and letting me just sit back and enjoy the surprises, i want to thank jessi, maddi, paige, and monica for making the time to come share this time with me. it was so nice to have all these girls out to my house to celebrate our baby! for more pictures (and there are some good ones!) go to my flickr page.

highs and lows

yay for highs! yesterday i had another successful visit to the ob - 33.5 weeks and a "healthy pregnancy" said the dr. my bp was high, but dr tosky was not concerned - i think it had to do with different nurses taking it from the ones i got used to and the fact that i was getting sick... but that's for the other section of the post. another high is that lula belle, the dog who received chloe's blood was not only a little better after the transfusion, but she was ready to go home!! how great is that? her pcv was 13 pre-transfusion and 23 post, and 26 about 12 hours after it, which means she's producing her own rbc's - yay! another great highlight is that andrew and i went over to heather's for dinner last night and had a great time :-) thanks again for having us guys!

now for the lows... the sickness i was getting yesterday has taken over. i decided to call out from work last night around midnight when, in addition to feeling crappy, we deduced i had a fever. however, the doc told me i could take any otc meds that made me feel better at this point in my pregnancy and that if i had a fever to take tylenol, so i did that. i have slept pretty much all night and all day with breaks to blow my nose, pee, and eat, and i don't have to work again until monday. unfortunately, this is my big friend/family shower weekend. i hope i feel better before saturday.

back to the plus side though, mom is bringing me medicine and food (she's the best), i have been able to sleep, and lillie's great at keeping me company.

chloe the heroine returns!

this gigantic goofball donated her blood again today to try and save another life! lula belle the basset has a strange disease called babesia (a tick transmitted blood parasite) and has basically been getting worse and worse quickly. we are hoping chloe's blood can turn it around! we had an interesting collection style this time due to a lack of the correct collection tubing, so getting the blood took a long time and was somewhat difficult, but chloe did a wonderful job and (before my preggo back gave out from holding her straight) we drew almost 400 mL's for ms. lula. she began her transfusion at about 4, and as of 9pm with about 40 mL's or so to go, her pcv had gone up from 13 to 15. it is good that it turned around from the steady decline, and she had a fast crt (and was pink rather than completely pale), but we'll have to see if it lasts and continues to rise.
good job chloe! pray for lula belle!

week 33

we had a happy valentine's breakfast at the flying biscuit:

and here are your weekly belly pics:


and, for your viewing pleasure, some bare belly pics!

why my dog is the best dog in the world

if you've never met lillie, you can't understand fully, but she is a people. she speaks english, and she knows what to do and how to love better than most other people. i think that's why i'm so upset whenever she gets a wild hair and runs away. i shouldn't, cause she always comes back, but the idea of losing her is excruciating.

she understands cues like sit, down, stay, etc, but she also understands "mine" (and will not touch your steaming steak even when you leave the room to get a beer), "go away" (and usually looks very pouty after you tell her to, she knows that "go to your bed" means to go to the nearest dog bed/blanket and lay down until given further instruction, and she can usually "go get me the ____" (remote control, socks, phone, etc). she also knows she isn't allowed upstairs, on the couch, on the bed, etc, without an invitation, and MOST of the time will wait for that invitation before hopping up on them. and one thing she definitely knows is that if she is allowed up on one of those coveted spots, she cannot bring toys or bones up with her.

now that you have a bit of information about her and the rules of the house, you'll see why this is so sweet.

tonight, i was laying on the couch feeling crappy, and andrew went to let the dogs in from outside. he was going to bed, and i told him i didn't want to deal with the dogs being all excited and running around the living room, so he could just take lillie to bed with him (chloe sleeps in the bathroom, so she was there already). about 10-15 minutes later, andrew and lillie walk out of the bedroom and he tells her to get up on the couch.
"she was just standing there staring at the door," he told me.
"i think she wants you."
i looked at her and she threw herself at me and curled up in the spot between my bent knees and the couch. in her mouth she tightly clutched her favorite toy as i talked to andrew.
i guess she wanted some snuggle time," he said.
i agreed and put my hand on her head, thinking i was going to have to take away her toy.
she turned, put her favorite toy on my belly and nudged it towards me. then she laid her head on my hip.

andrew and i both teared up.
she's NEVER given me a toy before, ever.
i guess she knew i needed some love.

she stayed there, with her head gently resting right below my belly until i got up. now it may be hormones, or the fact that i have been feeling crappy, but i'm just so touched by how wonderfully kind and understanding my sweet lillie is. i am so blessed to have her.

small things

i am trying to rejoice in the small things today to brighten my outlook.

today's good stuff:
1. the sun is out AND it's not raining
2. i went grocery shopping
3. i got money back on my lowe's foods reward card
4. i got a coupon for lowe's gas (which i needed) which brought my cost down to $2.30/gal.
5. i found a faster way to/from lowe's foods
6. i cleaned out the fridge (mostly)
7. i cleaned the kitchen (mostly)
8. i bought amaretto flavored coffee creamer and made myself a delicious mug of decaf amaretto coffee
9. i was alerted via email that my bile acids test was normal

the only drawback for today's adventures?
1. my few grocery shopping bags cost us ~$94.00
2. now we have no idea why i itch.

the real deal [WARNING: negative rant ahead]

well i've been wanting to blog for a while about things that i've thought or felt or whatever, but i sit down to do it and i just don't have anything to say - perhaps it's blogger's-block? i don't know. but i think part of it is that i feel so negative, and i hate writing that down. i've always been a "strong person" and i've always been able to cope very well with lots of stress, but i am not feeling strong, and i'm not coping well anymore. and i'm going to write it all down now.

the real deal about pregnancy is that it is 10 months of SUCK.

(yes, 10 - 40 weeks = 10 months, not 9.)

i feel like shit, i look like shit, my self esteem is shit, and i can't even do fun stuff to relieve the shitty feeling, like go for a HARD workout and exercise it all away, or sleep for a day and realize i was just tired, or do something really great like get shit-faced drunk and pretend like that made it better (which it doesn't but you sure had a good time doing it), go dancing in a smokey bar, or just eat a TON of good, decadent food - which you can't do while pregnant cause half of those things are bad for you or you're not allowed to do, or you CAN'T physically do with a belly, or in the case of food, you can't eat anything that tastes good and you can't eat much cause you have no room for a stomach.

and i'm TIRED of people telling me cheery stuff like "oh it's almost over" or "just think of what you'll have when it's all done" cause, though they mean well, 8 more weeks of HELL doesn't seem comforting, and when i "think of what i'll have" all i can see is more nights of not sleeping, more stress of a life depending on me, and the fear of the unknown.

i'm TIRED of putting on a happy face and telling people "oh yeah i'm doing well!" when they ask me how i am. cause you know what? they don't really want to know how you're doing, that you haven't felt good since the onset of nausea in the first trimester, and that you haven't had a good night's sleep since your belly (or itching, or anxiety, or whatever achy muscle/joint/etc took over the nights), and they don't want to know that the cellulite, stretch marks, and swelling has you feeling so ugly that you just want to crawl under the covers and dream about when you looked good. they say "oh you're pregnant, you're supposed to gain weight" but they don't have to deal with looking at a scale that reads over 200lbs, do they? and they don't have to feel the fat on their own legs or arms or see the stretch marks when they look in the mirror, or deal with the fact that the nose they had and liked all their lives has now enlarged and spread out across their face. so it's easy for them to say these happy, cheery things, and it's easy for them to want to hear glowing, motherly things from you, and it's easy for them to not have any understanding of what you're feeling, and you just have to deal with it cause they mean well, and you know they do. but you know what? that just makes me feel even more isolated in trying to deal with all this crap.

i blame ALL the women who've gone before and pretended that being pregnant was somehow great, or even tolerable, and spread this lie around the world. you all suck.

31.5 week doctor's visit

i had my ob appointment today at 31.5 weeks -since i tend to go on wednesdays and i change weeks on sundays, it's always a .5 when i visit. my blood pressure was normal again at 122/78, and my urine test was normal, and i gained some weight. no, you may not know how much. my uterus is now at "between 30-31cm, which is good". baby k's heartbeat was loud and clear and in the 150's - "that's a happy baby!" according to the doctor. i got more information from this doctor than i have from others, and she was very nice.

I also got slightly frustrated after talking to her because after i once again mentioned my itchiness, she recommended i come in tomorrow morning for a fasted blood test to check my bile acid levels to rule out cholestasis of pregnancy. this wasn't a complete shock to me, as the lovely world of the internet brought up this potential issue when i googled my itchiness 3 WEEKS AGO. i am frustrated though, because i was at the dr's office four weeks ago AND AGAIN two weeks ago and mentioned the itching both times, to which they told me (both times) to use more lotion and take benadryl if i wanted. seriously people, why do i have to mention this problem 3 times before you think that it might be something other than dry skin??

the other thing that frustrated me a little more was that although i received the results of my glucose test at my visit 2 weeks ago as "normal", this doctor began my visit by mentioning that my hemoglobin was mildly low (anything below 11 is low, and mine was 10.9) on the test, and that i might be becoming anemic, to which i responded, "yeah i've been feeling light-headed sometimes" - ALSO information i told the doctor at the last visit, to which i was told to be sure i was eating breakfast - this time, the doctor told me that in that case she definitely wants me to add in an iron supplement to my prenatal vitamin regimen. again, i ask, why am i finding this out 3 weeks after symptoms start when i reported them at previous visits? what am i paying these people for if they only sort of do their job?

don't get me wrong, i'm sure they know what they're doing, and i'm sure there are plenty of hypochondriac-first-time-pregnant-ladies who freak out about everything and overreact, but I AM NOT ONE OF THEM! i didn't freak out when i broke my wrist and had it set without pain meds, i didn't freak out when getting tattoos on my feet, i didn't freak out when i broke my foot (though i did get angry when the hospital wouldn't believe me and tried to send me home on ibuprofen until the radiologist looked at my x-ray), i didn't freak out when i had an ovarian cyst which landed me in the er, completely bypassing the waiting room, and i haven't freaked out yet about my pregnancy issues, but dangit, i would appreciate it if people would listen to me when i calmly tell them there is something wrong! why must we be crazy, dramatic, crying, screaming women to get attention?!

i was feeling this frustration when the doctor today seemed done with our visit and, though she did listen to my other questions, was clearly ready to move on to her next appointment. i left and visited andrew to tell him what went on at the visit, but got all sad and emotional when he had to go back to work because again, i felt like everyone was too busy to talk to me about my concerns. i guess that's what happens when you have a day off in the middle of the week when other people are working. they just simply ARE too busy for you, even if they don't want to be.

i was bummed at all of this (and at the new weight number, which i will still not tell you), and just wanted to come home, but i had to pick up my iron supplements, so i also bought some healthier snack foods at the grocery store and came home to a snack of a nectarine, ants on a log (celery with peanut butter and raisins), and whole wheat pita with red pepper hummus, with water to wash it all down. it wasn't exactly an exciting meal, but it was healthy, and it did the job... i wouldn't say i'm feeling positively about all of this, but hey, i did get to sleep in this morning, and the sun was out all day, so who can really complain?