doesn't bad news always seem to come in 3's?
wednesday, i found out that someone from oberlin got fired, arrested, and incarcerated for felony embezzlement, thursday, i found out a friend's marriage is over (and has been for months), and then today, i found out that a girl who graduated from ewa last year was killed in an accident. the kids and many of the teachers were, obviously, quite upset.
i keep feeling like i'm so worthless in these situations. i can't do anything but feel bad for dr. joe and debbie at oberlin, i have no control over the hurt and confusion the friend who's separating is feeling, and there is nothing i can do or say to bring the young girl who was killed back to her family and friends.
then tonight, dr. page called me to come help with an emergency surgery. i was in durham when i got the message, and by the time i got there, the surgery was almost done. i put in a catheter because the other tech couldn't do it (upside down and while the animal was under anesthesia), and then while i went to get tape to tape it in, somehow it came out. being bummed about that and about missing the surgery, i spent the rest of the time trying to clean up the mess they'd made, but i had a hard time even doing that because i have no idea where anything goes anymore. i felt worthless again.
this week i just just haven't felt like i've fit in. i haven't been able to fix everyone's problems, and that weighs heavily on my heart. sometimes i feel like i'm not fitting in the teacher job, i'm no longer fitting in the vet job... i wish i could find my place! and i hope the terrible things stop happening to the people i care about.
1 comment:
I know what you mean. Feeling helpless to make the pain go away for people we love or care about is really a horrible feeling. There are so many things that we have no control over in life. I've found though, that just being there and showing kindness and concern is the best thing we can do. It seems small, but it's HUGE for those on the receiving end. I KNOW because I've received so much from others just from knowing they love me. Just being yourself and caring is more than enough. YOU are precious and your worth is beyond measure as daughter, wife, friend. teacher, with all the fine qualities that make you who you ARE. Feel GOOD about that. : )
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