mental health day

life's been tough on me these past few weeks/months... i guess it is on all pregnant women, but with that, combined with work, i've just been overwhelmed recently. and then the fact that i've been overwhelmed makes me frustrated because i'm used to being able to take everything in stride, but i feel like everything's bogging me down. then being bogged down makes my work frustrations worse, and it's this horrible spiral that is just getting me defeated. so it must have culminated with last night to create some kind of awful nervous breakdown or something, and andrew mandated a mental health day for me today. i am very blessed to have him as my husband.

i was given strict directions to do nothing productive and worry about nothing, and even the dogs cooperated by staying quiet well into the morning (quite unlike them), but the sun remains against me. see, you can plan your sunny days by my work schedule -- if i am working, it will be beautiful and unseasonably sunny and perfect outside weather; however, the second i have a few hours off, it will be rainy, dreary, and overcast. apparently this works whether i am scheduled to have the day off, or if it's a decision made for me at 11:48pm the night before... blah.

i'm trying not to be negative and look on the positive, but as you can see, i'm not doing so hot. perhaps the optimist in me is hidden behind my swollen eyes or the clouds which cover the sky today... i'm sure it will be better after lunch.