more stuff "they" don't tell you about being crazy

err, i mean pregnant. really though, they're kind of the same.

[cold, hard truth comin' atcha. reader discretion is advised.]

one of the first issues we have is the inability to find clothes that both fit and look good at the same time... or at all. if it's comfortable, it is probably something born of the velvet jogging suit category, and if it is a stylish maternity top, it's probably about as comfortable as a new set of braces. especially when it comes to bras! if you are anything like me and secretly hate bras as it is, the ever-expanding balloons hooked to your chest are never comfortable. as soon as you find a bra that fits, you grow out of it. for me this happened sunday morning on the way to run errands, which were immediately diverted to the mall to buy a new bra, and OHMYGOSHTHISSWEATERITCHES i must buy new shirt to wear over the bra. when something is uncomfortable or annoying, it must be remedied immediately, or the pregnant lady in me goes crazy.

speaking of annoying, the dogs make this licking/smacking noise after they've eaten that i just cannot take. it bugged me before, but i have actually banished lillie outside recently when she wouldn't stop, and on one occasion, i went running from the living room and locked myself in the bedroom until andrew could do something about the situation. i'm telling you, being pregnant and getting annoyed is like something else has possessed you, and nothing matters but getting rid of this annoying thing that's happening RIGHT AWAY. now, i know i can be easily irritated about certain things normally, but this is like nothing i've experienced before. perhaps this is because, while i sometimes feel special and wonderful for carrying a new life, more often than not i just feel like an uncomfortable, ugly, swollen human incubator. not that the never ending weight gain, edema, stretch marks, and acne of a preteen on a clearasil commercial isn't WONDERFUL, but it's hard to give up things i enjoy (like brie and booze) to gain, in the instant gratification sense, multiple chins.

and as far as things that they do tell you will happen, what is this "nesting" and when will it kick in? apparently i'm supposed to begin feeling like cleaning, organizing, and creating things in preparation for the baby's arrival. of course i do feel like doing all of these things... in the theoretical sense. as in, i would like for some magical fairy to come and do them for me, but i'm unmotivated, tired, and too overwhelmed with the immenseness of it all to even get started, and i sit on the couch watching tv and staring at the computer screen instead. that leads to me just feeling lazy and guilty that i haven't done it all yet. come on real nesting.

i think that's probably enough realism for now -- stay tuned for next time when we discuss exciting topics like pregnancy carpal tunnel, having the dropsies, and leaking nipples! i know, you can hardly wait.