doo be doo be doula

after being upset for a few days about my ob situation, i spoke with the nurse practitioner the birth center in chapel hill this morning. i had wanted to use the midwives there and their birth center for this baby, but i was scared about what would happen if i didn't take the precaution to be in a hospital, and in the end did not pursue their services further. in hindsight, i should have, and i was not surprised (nor did it make it any less discouraging) when i called and learned they were full for births around my due date. however, the np i spoke to was very understanding and sweet, and she offered me good advice.

she said that she hated turning people away and that for future babies (that assumes i have them) or ob/gyn care, they'd love to take me on as a patient. she also said that there are other midwives for hospital births or in-home births in the area. i looked them up and didn't find many, or if i did they had mixed reviews, and i'm not willing to make a change this late in time for anything more than a sure bet. also, home birth for me is not an option. i just think it would be way too uncomfortable, i would feel trapped, and i'm way too far from a real hospital to be comfortable with that idea. BUT the np did say that i should definitely get a doula for this birth.

a doula is a woman who is there for the sole purpose of taking care of the laboring woman. she is not meant to take the place of the birth partner (husband), but to offer massage, compresses, soothing words, suggestions for positions, and advocate for the woman so she doesn't have to fight for what she wants (esp. if it is a low-intervention delivery). she's also a benefit to the husband because she can be there if he needs a break or some food, or if he's just overwhelmed with the whole enormous life change going on and isn't able to be much of a coach.

andrew and i had been considering using our childbirth education teacher as a doula before, but we weren't sure if we'd be able to afford it, esp. since it's not covered by insurance and we're already saving for the deductible we know we'll have to pay upon leaving the hospital, but we did our taxes and it looks like we'll be getting back almost the exact cost for the doula (big thanks to God for that one - definitely not a coincidence). that, coupled with the strong recommendation of the birth center np, and andrew's strong support of the idea has led us to go ahead and take the plunge into doula-land.

after being upset for 2 days over the ob fiasco, i am finally at ease with our delivery situation again. i know betty jo will be a good advocate and an excellent person to depend on so that andrew and i don't go into this new and scary experience feeling alone.