and then there was that time the firemen came...

so i've been frustrated with our gas company, amerigas, pretty much since we moved in to this house. they are not good communicators, customer service technicians, or apparently gas people. i was irritated the two times we ran out of gas, and they acted like it was some act of god to get someone out here to fill it up. i was ticked off when i waited all day for them to show up and they never did. i was a touch angry when they told me they'd call before coming and then showed up without calling, i wasn't here, they left, and then we called to find out when they'd be here, and they acted like we'd done something wrong by not just sitting at the house. and i was PISSED when, after i told them i thought the gas gauge didn't work, our gauge went from 40% (of a 325 gal. tank) to 0% in one week... during the summer.

so andrew called them every hour monday morning. 8am - no answer. 9am - no answer. 10am - no answer. finally i think he got through around 10:20. why don't they answer their phone? i don't know. however, after andrew got nowhere by talking to the rather rude receptionist/service call lady, i decided a little momma-ain't-happy-so-you-won't-be-either-till-you-fix-this attitude copped on the company owner might help. i called and asked to speak to the owner directly and was told by rude receptionist that, "uhh we're a national company"
"ok, well you have a manager or branch owner, or someone who runs this place, don't you? what's his name?"
pause. "lou pickford"
"ok, please let me speak to him."
pause. "ok."
i mean really lady, did you not get that that's who i was asking for anyway? sheesh.
so i get on the phone with lou and unload my situation and tell him i'm frustrated. at first he is rude too and doesn't even respond. i ask if he's still there. he is, so i proceed with my "request" that he figure out what is going on. eventually, he agrees that we need more than just a refill. he says they will bring a temporary above-ground replacement tank (with a working gauge), get information off our in-ground tank, order a new gauge for it, pressure test it again, and have people out within the hour. score. emily 1, amerigas 0.

so they come out... late, and wake up the baby who has been fussy all morning. then i give up on her sleeping and decide to do some housework - oh wait, i can't, there's no gas hooked up now for hot water for laundry or dishes or a shower, and i can't cook because there's no gas hooked up to the stove either since they're working. so i give up on that idea and just sit outside in the rocking chair rocking tess and watching them use the crane to almost slam a 120 gal. gas tank into our car. then, they get the tank in place, and i hear them get an emergency call to go see about a commercial gas leak. great. so they leave, but before they do, i ask if i still have to be there when they come back. "oh, do you need to go somewhere?" larry asks (yes, his name is really larry). uh, well i'd like to not be stuck here for the REST of the day, i think to myself, but i say instead, "well since i can't cook or clean -" "oh you can do that! you should! then we won't have to burn so much off!" he tells me.

so they leave and i start cooking, of course they show back up when i have 20 mins left for the lasagna to cook, but that's ok. i go out, sign whatever it is i have to sign so that when they are ready to leave they can without bothering me. they finish up, and all is well, except, oh yeah, they have to come in and test the stove before they go, so they wake tess up again for that.

but what about the firemen? you ask. oh i'm getting there...

so today tess has JUST gone to sleep after fighting it for like an hour, and the dogs start going crazy. i go look out, and larry and his buddy are back. why? i don't know. why would they tell me they're going to show up at my house again? he yells to me that they're going to burn off the tank now, but that it won't affect anything. ok, no biggie. oh yeah, and they wake tess up again. i start trying to get some laundry done when he rings the doorbell - are you kidding me?? what now? they're going to borrow my lighter to burn the gas... does anyone else think maybe they should have brought their own? hands? yeah. i thought so.

i go to change tess's diaper and see, out our bedroom window, 30 foot flames coming from the center of the field. oh good. now we're going to light the dogs on fire. but our two geniuses seem to have it under control, so i go about my business and do important tasks like putting on a bra. you know, things i do when i know people will be coming to my house.

well a little later, the dogs are losing it again. i go out to the window to see an ambulance, fire truck, and some other emergency vehicle at the end of our driveway. faaaaaantastic. i can only assume that our star students at amerigas did not inform the fire station of their purposeful burn, and that a neighbor called in the fact that our field appeared to be on fire. one of the firemen is talking to larry about how they didn't know what was going on, etc. larry looks stupid. no, not stupefied, just stupid. i am wondering if amerigas will get charged for the false emergency. oh, amerigas, what an epic fail.

on the one hand, i now know my neighbors would not let our house burn (or at least they wouldn't have - now they might feel like the boy who cried wolf and hesitate... ), and that the firemen, though we have not donated to their fund this year, will still show up to be sure we don't die in the house. excellent! on the other hand: holy crap. what a display.

moral of the story? amerigas sucks.
that, and i should grow another set of arms so that next time i'm juggling the laundry, the baby, and the diapers, i can still take pictures of the clusterfuck. (i apologize for the language, but that's just the right term for what went on today.)