so andrew gets home at 6 or later each night from work, then (if i'm cooking) i finish making dinner, and we sit down to eat around 7. i've been trying to have the tv off during that time so we can talk without staring at the screen. on nights when we make dinner together, eating takes place closer to 8. then, we usually watch jeopardy together, and by 9:30 andrew is asleep. i find this to be abnormal because i never go to sleep that early, and i find it frustrating because it basically means i get 3-3.5 hrs of his time each day, during at least part of which i am making dinner or he is feeding the dogs or we're doing daily tasks that do not involve enjoying eachother. it's really a bummer.
anyway, before he gets home (all day) and after he goes to sleep, i'm left to my own devices, which usually means i'm bored and stalking facebook/blogs for updates, watching hours of worthless reruns or dvr'd shows that rot your brain, and i watch a lot of food network. i try to read, but the lighting in our house is pretty bad (esp since the living room overhead is broken), and my eyes get all blurry, plus it's difficult to find any comfortable position to read in. AND everything i read has something to do with pregnancy or babies or raising babies or going into labor or something. i'm feeling overwhelmed and obsessed AND BORED. there's so much to do, but i'm doing it all alone. and i think it's worse to feel alone when there's someone right there... sleeping. i'm not trying to deny andrew sleep by any means, and 8 hours seems to be what he needs to function at all, but i gotta find something to do with myself, otherwise i'm just dwelling on the negative side-effects that go with 3rd trimester pregnancy.
for example, i am not sleeping well because a. i have trouble getting comfortable at all, b. once i'm comfortable, i have to get up to pee. c. sometimes when i am comfortable AND don't have to pee, the baby gets the hiccups, which while not painful, it is extremely annoying, but most annoying is d. i have this obnoxious feeling like buzzing or vibrating or tingling that has become more and more persistent as pregnancy has continued. it is right under my ribs on the left side of my body at the top of my uterus. it was driving me crazy off and on up until now, and i assume it is when the baby puts her foot/other body part up there and irritates something. i was getting concerned about it for a little, and i definitely did NOT have page ultrasound the spot at work... and she didn't say that it was most likely my spleen and that it's probably just because the spleen is sensitive and the baby's foot is irritating it... yeah that didn't happen :-P so i haven't been too worried about it, but as baby k's size has increased, the feeling has become nearly constant whenever i'm sitting at all or when i'm not lying in exactly the right position. it is making me crazy, and it does not seem to be covered in any "what to expect" kind of book.
in addition to the sleep issue, eating has become less exciting for me. those of you who know me know that i love food. i didn't have toooo much nausea in my first trimester compared to some poor souls. i didn't feel great, but i only actually vomited a few times, and i didn't have many strong food aversions. the worst thing that happened was that i would crave food, but by the time we got the food and i went to eat it, it would be totally unappetizing. in the second trimester, food seemed more appetizing and i was able to eat pretty regularly minus the fact that my very small torso and pregnant uterus was preventing me from eating enough to feel full before my stomach, which was smushed, filled up. now that i'm used to eating lots of small meals (or paying for it later by feeling awful), i have a strange new symptom - nothing tastes very good. i find myself adding more salt to things - which some websites i've perused say is normal because my body might be craving the sodium, and i made chicken the other day, which andrew loved, and i thought tasted awful. i ordered food at moe's today, and all of it was bland and horrible except the salsa and chips (once i salted them). tonight when we grilled out, the chicken tasted nothing like the sauce we used to me, it just tasted like bland chicken, and the rest of the meal, though balanced, also was pretty tasteless. for dessert i decided to make myself some oatmeal - a double helping of peaches 'n cream... and it just tasted like paste to me. so now i have no idea if everything really has been subpar, or if i'm just having a taste issue. i'm leaning towards the latter.
when i'm not fighting with food or struggling to sleep, i have started having what many of my birth class compatriots complained of, unsettling dreams. just the other night, i had a dream that i went into labor early, and for some reason they couldn't stop it, and then for some other reason (none of which i know) i had to have a c-section, and then i had this teeny tiny baby and was trying to get her to breastfeed... it was just all very strange and unsettling, though i wouldn't call it a "nightmare" per se. i've had other unsettling dreams, which on several occasions have kept me tossing and turning and being distracted for the rest of the day, but i can't seem to remember any of them, so they must not have been so bad.
because of all of this, and reading reading reading books to prepare for baby, as well as thinking about cleaning out closets, washing baby clothes, trying to get the nursery straight, sterilizing bottles and other plastics, thinking about breast pumps, coupled with being uncomfortable, having trouble waddling places, swelling all the time, etc ad nauseam, i find it difficult to think about much else. i'm not sure if this is because of all the end of pregnancy crap, or the fact that i'm alone a lot now, or that i'm not working and don't have those distractions, but i feel a little like i'm going baby crazy, and i need to make it STOP!
if anyone has any ideas or would just like to come distract me - please, i beg of you, come save my sanity!!
