some days, i just don't feel like being a mom. or a wife. i just want to be me, by myself, do what i want, and be selfish. yep.
like today, after the child has screamed (and i mean literally screamed) at me for hours, and i had a fight with my husband at lunch, wherein i was informed that i am usually, if not always, unpleasant to be around. all i want to do is drop the kid off at one of those "right time kids" places, drop the wedding bands on the dining room table, and hit the road.
instead, i came home, put tess down for a nap, and got dinner started in the crock pot. i should be cleaning, but i'm not.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Runaway Bunny / Goodnight Moon
Tess and I went to see The Runaway Bunny and Goodnight Moon at Stewart Theatre today. It was performed by a theatre group from Canada and was pretty cute. Tess seemed to enjoy it for the most part but got antsy during the slow musical parts. Here is Tess reading her upside down program before the show started.
We got there and had about 15 or 20 minutes to wait before the show started. This was her favorite thing to do once she figured out that the chair moved. Wait for it, it's really funny.
-Andrew
We got there and had about 15 or 20 minutes to wait before the show started. This was her favorite thing to do once she figured out that the chair moved. Wait for it, it's really funny.
-Andrew
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
19 month words
tess had her 18 month check-up today -- which was really a sick patient visit, and actually occurred now that she's 19 months, but that's not the point -- the point is she's a genius. but we all knew that. and in honor of her intellectual brilliance, i wanted to make a list of the words she says... or at least try to remember most of them, because there are tons!
mama
dada
tess
nana
grandma
bubba (for bubba, the fish remote control holder at my parents' house, and the name of her new beta fish)
kitty
dog (or more frequently "woof woof")
shoes
socks ("sha")
sit (which sounds like "shi")
up
down
upstairs
outside
all done
more
tractor
stop
please
no
yeah
out
shh shh (fish)
two
twee (three)
woah
uwo (hello? - while holding the phone)
eyes
nose
toes
shirt (sounds like "shi" also)
eat
pass (for paci)
baby
uh uh uuuuhhh (for the theme song to "elmo's world")
cheese
milk
juice
on
off (sounds like ot)
eh eh eh (said quickly so as to sound like a nicker - means horse)
most animal sounds
ouch
hot (also more like "ot")
ice
bubbles
and that's all my tired mommy brains can think of this late at night!
mama
dada
tess
nana
grandma
bubba (for bubba, the fish remote control holder at my parents' house, and the name of her new beta fish)
kitty
dog (or more frequently "woof woof")
shoes
socks ("sha")
sit (which sounds like "shi")
up
down
upstairs
outside
all done
more
tractor
stop
please
no
yeah
out
shh shh (fish)
two
twee (three)
woah
uwo (hello? - while holding the phone)
eyes
nose
toes
shirt (sounds like "shi" also)
eat
pass (for paci)
baby
uh uh uuuuhhh (for the theme song to "elmo's world")
cheese
milk
juice
on
off (sounds like ot)
eh eh eh (said quickly so as to sound like a nicker - means horse)
most animal sounds
ouch
hot (also more like "ot")
ice
bubbles
and that's all my tired mommy brains can think of this late at night!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
supermom strength
ok, so you know how they say moms have super-human strength when their babies are in danger? well, it is definitely true.
this morning, i packed tess up in the car and headed out to get the new scotty cd (which is AMAZING), and the whole way back she was fussing and whining and just like... moaning, and i knew it was because naptime was coming up, and she's fighting off a cold (and losing), so i was trying to be understanding, but it was realllllly draining to hear that for 15 mins straight.
so we got home and pulled into the driveway, and one of the songs was coming to a close, so i decided to leave the music playing while i got her out of her carseat. i had been distracted because of the droning on and was thinking about the great weather, the great cd, and how we were finally home so tess could take a great nap. i opened the door and got out, and started walking around the back of the car to get to the passenger's side to let tess out -- and then realized that the van was moving.
and it was rolling straight towards the house. shit! talk about panic! not only is the car NOT supposed to be moving, but it's definitely not supposed to be traveling into the side of the house -- with my daughter in it!
so many things were running through my head. how did this happen? did i forget to put it in park? i always put the emergency break on, did i forget? oh no, it's about to hit the driveway light! wait, it's about to hit the house! wait, tess is going to die!!! and why hadn't i already opened the passenger door with the electronic button like i usually do? i could just grab her out if i had... and on and on and on. but these thoughts all ran through my head in the course of less than a second because before i knew it, i was running to the front of the van and pushing on it trying to get it to stop.
oh dear, i said to myself, this thing is heavier than i thought! ...which didn't make any sense, because of course it's heavy, IT'S A MINIVAN -- made of steel, with my child inside! shit!
so i pushed harder. and in another second, the rolling stopped. great! now what?! the thoughts started streaming through my brain again, if i let go, it'll keep rolling. if the car is off, will the break still work? how fast do i have to run and grab the door and jump in before it runs over the driveway light and starts barreling into the house?! i know, i'll push it uphill away from the house and THEN run! so i did.
i pushed the van, with a curb weight of 4,255 lbs, from the standstill that i was holding it at, backwards a foot or two and then sprinted around the side, grabbed the door, flung it open, and smashed my foot into the brake pedal, stopping the car. and then i hear tess laughing.
apparently, mommy freaking out and running around the van, pushing on it, and sprinting and jumping into it like a madwoman on fire is hilarious. glad i could make ya smile, kid! and also, you can call me supermom.
this morning, i packed tess up in the car and headed out to get the new scotty cd (which is AMAZING), and the whole way back she was fussing and whining and just like... moaning, and i knew it was because naptime was coming up, and she's fighting off a cold (and losing), so i was trying to be understanding, but it was realllllly draining to hear that for 15 mins straight.
so we got home and pulled into the driveway, and one of the songs was coming to a close, so i decided to leave the music playing while i got her out of her carseat. i had been distracted because of the droning on and was thinking about the great weather, the great cd, and how we were finally home so tess could take a great nap. i opened the door and got out, and started walking around the back of the car to get to the passenger's side to let tess out -- and then realized that the van was moving.
and it was rolling straight towards the house. shit! talk about panic! not only is the car NOT supposed to be moving, but it's definitely not supposed to be traveling into the side of the house -- with my daughter in it!
so many things were running through my head. how did this happen? did i forget to put it in park? i always put the emergency break on, did i forget? oh no, it's about to hit the driveway light! wait, it's about to hit the house! wait, tess is going to die!!! and why hadn't i already opened the passenger door with the electronic button like i usually do? i could just grab her out if i had... and on and on and on. but these thoughts all ran through my head in the course of less than a second because before i knew it, i was running to the front of the van and pushing on it trying to get it to stop.
oh dear, i said to myself, this thing is heavier than i thought! ...which didn't make any sense, because of course it's heavy, IT'S A MINIVAN -- made of steel, with my child inside! shit!
so i pushed harder. and in another second, the rolling stopped. great! now what?! the thoughts started streaming through my brain again, if i let go, it'll keep rolling. if the car is off, will the break still work? how fast do i have to run and grab the door and jump in before it runs over the driveway light and starts barreling into the house?! i know, i'll push it uphill away from the house and THEN run! so i did.
i pushed the van, with a curb weight of 4,255 lbs, from the standstill that i was holding it at, backwards a foot or two and then sprinted around the side, grabbed the door, flung it open, and smashed my foot into the brake pedal, stopping the car. and then i hear tess laughing.
apparently, mommy freaking out and running around the van, pushing on it, and sprinting and jumping into it like a madwoman on fire is hilarious. glad i could make ya smile, kid! and also, you can call me supermom.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
good advice from my boss
be the kind of mom you want tess to be...
take care of yourself.
get enough sleep!
exercise a little bit every day to get the oxygen and endorphins to the brain.
eat right.
drink plenty of water.
read before bed.
meditate every day.
be sure to pamper yourself without feeling guilty.
you're better when you feel better.
so what did i do? work my tail off at work, go to the grocery store, make dinner for the fam, watch tv and stay up too late! ugh... i need to be better to myself.
so, even though it's o'late-thirty, i'm going to go draw myself a bubble bath. at least then i'll be clean, and hopefully won't break out in an allergic reaction from the bubble bath, and hopefully the scent of the suds will override the yucky smell of our iron-saturated well water.
night!
take care of yourself.
get enough sleep!
exercise a little bit every day to get the oxygen and endorphins to the brain.
eat right.
drink plenty of water.
read before bed.
meditate every day.
be sure to pamper yourself without feeling guilty.
you're better when you feel better.
so what did i do? work my tail off at work, go to the grocery store, make dinner for the fam, watch tv and stay up too late! ugh... i need to be better to myself.
so, even though it's o'late-thirty, i'm going to go draw myself a bubble bath. at least then i'll be clean, and hopefully won't break out in an allergic reaction from the bubble bath, and hopefully the scent of the suds will override the yucky smell of our iron-saturated well water.
night!
Friday, September 2, 2011
starting afresh...
i thought this background pic felt like starting afresh.
what do you think?
does it drive you nuts that it's out of focus?
what do you think?
does it drive you nuts that it's out of focus?
drama, dumb luck, and lamentations
oh my goodness. there has been some drama.
drama at work, drama not at work, drama at home - DRAMA!
i am not a fan of drama. i generally flee from it. and by flee from it, i mean i think it is a huge pain in the butt, and when it comes along, it bothers me greatly. if it bothers me enough, i usually just cut out the people or things that have brought it. however, when the aforementioned things or people are not... removeable... (shush, i can make up words if i want to), then what do you do? i guess, suck it up and try to move on.
so that is what i'm doing, but can i just say, i am dern tired of drama, and i am even more tired of "hard luck".
i feel like in the past two years, i have had my fill of hard luck, bad luck, and no luck. it has not rained, not poured, but MONSOONED a tidal wave of negativity down on my heart, and i am done with it.
to top it all off, andrew knocked the side mirror off the scion, and then i realized that it's overdue for its registration renewal and inspection, which it now won't pass because, duh, it's missing a side mirror! which means that the money we were given to enjoy our 4-year wedding anniversary will likely be spent on fixing the mirror so that we can spend more money to get the registration updated. just like my christmas present of riding lesson money was spent on refilling our propane tank to heat the house last winter, and my birthday money was spent on tess's daycare tuition in july, and how my vacation time from work was paid out to take care of the credit card bill last month.
and that's not even the half of it.
i want so badly to just get my head above water. i want to stop wishing and wanting and hoping i can attain this elusive sense of financial security - something i had always had, simply from being a responsible and hardworking person - something that feels like grasping after mist now. i don't want a fancy new car or shoes or clothes. i just want to buy groceries that taste good, rather than the ones that are the cheapest. i want to take a day off of work to do something fun and not spend the whole time feeling guilty that i should be making money. i want to take a drive and not feel guilty that it's costing me $15 to go into town, i want to go to a nice restaurant and order what i want, not what's less than $10. and i want a damn vacation! BUT i would be satisfied if i could just feel assured that at the end of the month, our income would exceed our necessary expenditures.
thumper rule, be damned. THAT is how i feel.
drama at work, drama not at work, drama at home - DRAMA!
i am not a fan of drama. i generally flee from it. and by flee from it, i mean i think it is a huge pain in the butt, and when it comes along, it bothers me greatly. if it bothers me enough, i usually just cut out the people or things that have brought it. however, when the aforementioned things or people are not... removeable... (shush, i can make up words if i want to), then what do you do? i guess, suck it up and try to move on.
so that is what i'm doing, but can i just say, i am dern tired of drama, and i am even more tired of "hard luck".
i feel like in the past two years, i have had my fill of hard luck, bad luck, and no luck. it has not rained, not poured, but MONSOONED a tidal wave of negativity down on my heart, and i am done with it.
to top it all off, andrew knocked the side mirror off the scion, and then i realized that it's overdue for its registration renewal and inspection, which it now won't pass because, duh, it's missing a side mirror! which means that the money we were given to enjoy our 4-year wedding anniversary will likely be spent on fixing the mirror so that we can spend more money to get the registration updated. just like my christmas present of riding lesson money was spent on refilling our propane tank to heat the house last winter, and my birthday money was spent on tess's daycare tuition in july, and how my vacation time from work was paid out to take care of the credit card bill last month.
and that's not even the half of it.
i want so badly to just get my head above water. i want to stop wishing and wanting and hoping i can attain this elusive sense of financial security - something i had always had, simply from being a responsible and hardworking person - something that feels like grasping after mist now. i don't want a fancy new car or shoes or clothes. i just want to buy groceries that taste good, rather than the ones that are the cheapest. i want to take a day off of work to do something fun and not spend the whole time feeling guilty that i should be making money. i want to take a drive and not feel guilty that it's costing me $15 to go into town, i want to go to a nice restaurant and order what i want, not what's less than $10. and i want a damn vacation! BUT i would be satisfied if i could just feel assured that at the end of the month, our income would exceed our necessary expenditures.
thumper rule, be damned. THAT is how i feel.
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