i'm the mommy, dangit!

well, i'd like to give you a tess sleeping update. after a TERRIBLE night trying to have her sleep in the co-sleeper (where she did stay the whole night, actually), and hearing her grunt and flail and sleep horribly, tess woke up at 5am yesterday and didn't go back to sleep. i hadn't slept the whole night and was just wrecked, so i called mom who came to stay with me.

while i waited for her to get here, tess and i went on a 6am walk. i forgot how much i LOVE 6am in the summertime! i mean i really LOVE early mornings in the summer. i used to get up early and go riding before the sun was high to take advantage of the cool air, and it was just so fresh and dewey, and there is something so serene about that time of day. you have the whole day ahead of you, and something about that early, just-before-the-sun-becomes-scorching time of day that just makes your soul feel good. so despite my exhaustion and frustration, i really enjoyed our walk. tess fell asleep right before i got home, and i left her in the stroller when we got inside. it was 6:30, and i laid down on the couch... and of course she woke up 10 mins later.

my mom got here not too much later, and she (always being my mommy) made me breakfast and we chatted. it was good to be reminded that I'M THE MOMMY, and no matter what anyone else says, i can do what i want with our child, and if it doesn't entail letting her cry herself to sleep, or sleeping on her own if she doesn't sleep well that way, i don't have to! even though i trust doctors (generally) and value their opinions, i don't HAVE to listen to them about how/where she sleeps if i don't want to because she's my child and i know her best.

so, for the rest of the day (as poor tess made up for her crappy night's sleep by taking cat-naps all day), she slept on me, or beside me, or near me... or with mom for a while while i took a nap. and, you know what? that's ok.